I wish my family was more supportive, I wish I was more productive. Less talk and more production. Lesser innocence outweighed by corruption. More faith to my purpose, more ranks in my service. I wish my poetry had a million tongues and gestures to all who’s never heard it. I just want the golden eye gun and shoot whoever said creativity wasn’t worth it. My mother doesn’t even approach me, all my old lies and new stories. My heart is unable to mend if the thought of family is undermined by friends. Never a tear drop my father said, don’t eat from women he pledged. But this hunger for more can only be cured by the simplicity of a women. I dare not love, I know death is so soon to the emotions I blockade. Riot guards to my aid to protect me from ways……of myself. Never to be free of guilt. None to reign over me in my abyss, eyes open in every kiss, true hopelessness because of every miss and blinded by the gifts of today. No more food for thought if your mind refuses to be fed. Enlarged head with an ego twice the size, but what’s a ego got to do with me not getting it right. I’m afraid to love because the outcome is always different, so instead I yield since the traffic is hectic. I know I will regret it but obviously its benefited. Let’s not be scared to admit it in times of admittance because when we are standing for expectance, the only person standing commited to self is yourself!

I don’t believe in emotions and don’t see myself hoping.

Drowning in the sea of my hopeless ways of coping to the days

Lurking in daze knowing that my eyes stay open but nothing is focusing

55mm lens just for the portrait, photoshop and crop the ends

Kick down the barriers and empty portraits hang

Publish the work of art and unspoken memories to defend

Powerful blows to the head, nothing deadly to the heart

Powerful words are unsaid when actions take part

If love was so pure then shattered pieces wouldn’t need to mend

Enemies in love with enemies, no todays relationship ends with friends

Distant views mixed with sweltering minds

Promiscuous moods and sheltered crimes

Love holds no bounds but petite rooms we are enclosed in

Hands no longer lock to anothers reach, we rather fist and close them

Smiles no longer breach to the surface of thee 

Oh this plague I retreat to the humble lord I beseech thee, why me

Nothing but repeats

Cosby today and single teen moms next week

Baby boom in affect and good parenting we neglect

Horrified of the outside that inside we release/ and the pain just keeps/ on hurting

No room for soul searching and no time for the fresh start

A stench of replenant sprayed to herd away all the pride takers

A word we say to herd this way all the desire makers

A passionate distrcation to amuse our minds

A once told factor that alluded our questioning crimes

If love was so pure and innocent then why do we feel threatened in this sentence of unforgiving relentless  

I wont utter words to you that I don’t believe exist. I wont lie to you in words you destine to hear. I cant explain my hurt but wont deny it, I cant hide the hurt and wont despise it. I won’t love you the way you want, but I cant let go the passion I need. Confused in love with accepting I haven’t!

Poetic